Would I remarry someone who has been divorced?

Walter Trobisch, who won acclaim as an international counselor on marriage and divorce, wrote a number of insightful books.

Here’s a dialogue from one…. Please read carefully this conversation between Trobisch and a fellow pastor:

Pastor Daniel asks, “[Dr. Trobisch,] would you remarry divorcees then without hesitation?”

“Not without hesitation. But under certain conditions I would. In any case I would remarry only the guilty party.”

“I don’t follow you,” says Pastor Daniel.

“Well, if someone claims that he [or she] is entirely innocent when his [or her] marriage has failed and the fault is 100% [the partner’s fault] then I know this second marriage will be a failure too.”

“But [Dr. Trobisch] there are people who really are innocent. Take the case of the husband who becomes a drunkard.”

Dr. Trobisch says, “Yes, but beneath this surface innocence there is a deeper level.... I would hesitate to remarry anyone before he or she is ready to face this deeper level.”

And I, like Walter Trobisch, will hesitate to remarry anyone who I feel is not working on that deeper level — the level which has been reflected in the mirror of their former spouse.