Rod Stewart / Sheryl Crow & the Mystery of Marriage
You may be out of work right now because of a mystery — the mystery surrounding COVID-19. We don’t know when it will peak, how long will it last, and umpteen other questions having to do with this enigma called Coronavirus which are yet unanswered. So “when in doubt do without” is what we are given to live with, and that “without” touches us all where it hurts — some more than others, but “Ouch!” for everybody.
We will figure this out, though. It will take a lot of people with a lot of skill and it might take awhile, but all COVID-19 mystery will vanish. In an entirely different realm there is another mystery that will never vanish. It’s alluded to in one clear, flat-out, unabashed statement that’s the title of a song Sheryl Crow (and later Rod Stewart) made popular a few years back. It became popular because we all know — intrinsically or otherwise — that its title speaks truth: The First Cut is the Deepest.
The song, composed back in 1967 by Cat Stevens, has lyrics that don’t need to explain what is meant by the word cut in the title (we know already) but they go on to describe one who is trying to erase that cut to make way for a new relationship. It’s somewhat of a sad song because it appears the exit effort isn’t working — someone who’s torn [my heart] apart… taking all that I had… I’ll try to love again… but… . This song is all about a mystery mechanism that our Manufacturer installed deep inside each of us when He designed us. It’s not a hurtful mystery like the one surrounding the virus we’re struggling with. It’s the opposite. It’s a beautiful and powerful mystery — hurtful only if ignored.
Just in case there is any mystery about what I am addressing here, please let me make that mystery vanish. I’m speaking about what the song is speaking about — i.e. what happens when a man or woman gives himself or herself to the other, physically or viscerally, or both. There is something that occurs between them that borders on — or becomes — irreversible. Physical intimacy activates this oneness even when no emotional feelings accompany the act. And even without the physical act there can be a deep giving of the heart that results in the same outcome. These words of Proverbs (from our Manufacturer’s Manual) are pertinent: Above all else guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it (4:23). If you give (or let someone take) your heart it’s very difficult to get it back.
In the marriage section of this same Manual are these words: A man shall leave father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery. There are two important facts about this great mystery: One, that the mystery of 1 + 1 = 1 is repeated in other places (six to be exact) for emphasis throughout the Manual; and two, the word flesh by definition is more than just skin. It’s means our entire personhood, i.e. spirit, soul, and body.
In this scenario it’s obvious the first cut should be the genuine one — the one after the vows are said — when all the unseen mysterious forces are at work to glue a woman and a man together. But what if that first cut is not the genuine one — or the second or third cut. There’s such a thing called Manufacturer’s Reset when everything goes back to default settings. It requires a return trip and full disclosure to the Manufacturer but it guarantees renewal. True, traces of old relationships may, like stains, remain. But they will only serve to remind that all has been made new. “Well,” you may say, “this brings up a lot of questions.” Yes, it does. All mysteries do; especially great mysteries.
