Sex is not a Four-Letter Word
I made a solemn pact with myself to never undress a girl with my eyes. A statement a guy might make in resolving his inner moral battle as he maneuvers through the hallways of his school — or the crowded beach he’s on? Far from it! These are words from a man whom many scholars agree lived before Moses, his writing the oldest of any surviving literature anywhere. The words are from Job 31:1(The Message translation). Welcome to a difficult subject and one that’s as old as the hills — maybe older.
The difficulty is not knowing where others are re this subject. What’s here may be old-hat for you. For us in1958 it was old-school (or no-school). Sex was not in any curricula. The pastor who married us was tops, but our counseling session with him — our only counseling experience — had no mention of the elephant in the room. Apart from the pure wonder of the life-producing act of marriage here’s some of what we’ve learned since (and we’re still learning). It’s been important for our marriage. We offer it for yours. Sex is…
Not a Four-Letter Word
Meaning, of course, it’s not dirty. Again, Sex is not dirty! The world’s most pivotal calling ever fulfilled ended on a cross. It started at a wedding. That beginning stage re-established the purity of marriage and everything about marriage. In the last blog (Aug. 24) the Greek word for “holy” — hagios — was said to mean a God-thing. It also means pure. To say “The Holy bond of marriage” is to say sex is as pure as God is pure. Profanity defiles what is pure and holy. That God’s name and sex equally qualify for defilement reflects the holy nature of both. Marriage is honorable among all and the bed undefiled (Hebrews 13:4 KJV).
Powerful
Good: … A man shall… be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. This unique collection of words is found seven times throughout the Bible. They clearly refer to the sexual consummation of marriage. The Greek word here translated joined is instructive. Kollao means glue. However, kollao is not the word used. The word used is prokollao meaning glue on steroids!
Bad: Sex has caused kingdoms to fall and brought the acclaimed to shame. Powerful King David was conquered by it — his tryst with Bathsheba being infamously known as is the story of Samson and Delilah. Sex may have affected the outcome of WWII. The terrible weather forecast for Normandy Beach gave the top German war strategists — bereft of time with their significant others for days on end — cause to pay a visit. Field Marshall Rommel understandably went on leave to see his wife. General Fuetchtinger, Hitler’s right-hand man, decided to spend a couple of nights with his mistress. And Hitler himself went on vacation with his mistress Eva Braun. Author, Michael Korda, says concerning D-Day: As the decisive moment of World War II approached, nobody on the German side was minding the store (Ike by Michael Korda, p.50,51). I had planned to list names here of dignitaries, celebrities, and eminent people — both in the Christian domain as well as the secular who have succumbed to the dark side of sex, but I haven’t the heart. Besides, you already know them. Years ago, I was present at a church officers’ retreat when a leader of the Billy Graham Team — reminding us to humbly guard ourselves — shared with us Billy Graham’s constant and earnest prayer: Lord, keep me from becoming proud; keep me from a wrong attitude towards money; and keep me from a wrong relationship with women (Door to a Lasting Marriage, p. 305).
Ugly: With sex; women are verbal, men are visual. Thus, the black hole of sexual addiction: [Formerly] well-meaning church leaders would tell men to try harder, pray more, read your Bible more and just “stop it.” They didn’t understand how watching porn changes the physical structure of the brain. These men need a process — not a quick fix (Christianity Today – March 2018, Ad text for the Conquer Series rehab).
Beautiful
We know that Martin Luther truly found the physical act of sexual union within the context of marriage to be something beautiful and holy… God approved and sanctified… where the idea of something sinful or dirty was not even possible (Martin Luther by Eric Metaxas, p.348). The pleasure sex brings is not equal for women and men. Women are blessed with more. That climax is in symbolic language at the center of the book that’s at the center of the Bible — The Song of Solomon (4:16 – 5:1). The [Song of Solomon] does celebrate the dignity and purity of human love. It comes to us in this world of sin — lust on every hand — and reminds us, in particularly beautiful fashion, how pure and noble true love is (Tyndale Commentary).
