Genesis: Our Book (not the Bible)
We never intended to write a book. We were too busy trying to right a marriage — ours! But Mimi had made a promise to God long ago: The day I sat on that rock at Frontier Ranch and prayed that prayer — [asking] Christ if he was there, to come into my life and change me from the inside out — I also said to God, “If you are there, whatever I learn about you I will share with others.” My desire to share about God’s faithfulness in our lives and marriage is summed up in the marriage equivalent of the famous words (pronoun changed) of the pioneer missionary William Carey: “We’re just beggars sharing with others where we’ve found food.” Ironically, writing our story is the antithesis of our natures. We are both extremely private undemonstrative people. We’re oddly ambivalent about the book. We hope and pray it’s read by — and helps — many. But we both — because the book is so intensely personal — find ourselves hoping nobody beyond family and close friends will read it. Then why write it? The following words explain further why we could do no other.
Our Struggles (just two of many)
Mimi
I had to decide whether to leave, live like I was living, or trust God…. I Had No Hope. My outlook was very bleak. The wife of the minister who married us died in a mental institution. I knew his priorities in the home were much like Sim’s. Not much hope. Sim’s mother was seeing a counselor for the same reason — husband never at home. Every day, since I first became a Christian, I have gotten up early in the morning and first spend about ten minutes with God telling him my sads, my mads, my glads, and my bads…. And then secondly I have read the Bible. One of those early mornings during that time when Sim was always gone, I told God I would stay in this marriage, and he would have to work it out. Because I decided to trust God, I quit nagging Sim about not being at home.
Sim
I should’ve recognized the problem when I bought Mimi a big beautiful wooden jewelry box. It had compartments in the top, on the sides, and even a drawer you could extend that had compartments. It was expensive but I knew it would be a winner because all her jewelry was mixed together in a box-like thing on her dresser top. Now she could organize it all. Boy, did that not work! We nearly got in a fight over that gift. She said she didn’t use compartments. I told her she needed to learn how. She didn’t agree with me at all. At least Mimi was upfront — didn’t say “Thanks” and then get on the phone with her mother and laugh about what a dumdum she had married. She just told me how she felt and that was that…. I was coming to the conclusion that God had given me an abnormal wife. After all, I had now for several years mentored Mimi as being her perfectly normal role model. Yet, she still had not come around. As a Christian man, I was resigning myself to the fact that I would have to sacrificially (without a whine) take on this task of being a good husband even in the light of her distracting “handicap." I figured it was a cross I had to bear. (What a jerk I was.)
Simple Solutions and Wounded Healers (who are still learning)
So simple, but so difficult. Mimi’s struggle (above) was overcome by a simple phrase — date night. My struggle (above) was overcome by two simple words — celebrate differences. And just one simple word serves to give the answer to much of the destructive baggage that individuals (like myself) bring into their marriages — forgive. Those three areas take up 139 pages — 1/3 of our book. There’s a big “why” and “how” behind those simple words and others like them in our book. But we’re in good company. Speaking of Genesis — God’s two simple words must not to Adam on page one of my Bible take up the next 1,093 pages with the “why” and “how.” Finding that the pain felt by so many couples was relieved by our simple words (the “why” and “how” included) we began leading classes. When another congregation, where we were guests, asked for handouts we developed our spiral notebook. Upon retirement our hopes of a more complete book hit a dead end. “Lord, if you want it done please speak through your clearest voice — circumstances.” Out of the blue, Carolyn — our diligent notebook preparer and print shop owner in Honolulu — wrote a letter: Sim and Mimi, I’m now in Michigan and I’m now a publisher. If you still want your book published, I’m here for you.
Big 1st Anniversary this Week: Publishing of our Book; Launching of our Website; and Covid-19
A big thanks to editor, Janet McHenry; publisher, Carolyn Borges; website, Shayna Kusumoto; the many who have contributed to make it all happen; all of you who are reading this; and to the Author of the real Genesis and the rest of that Book that contains life-giving “whys” and “hows” and words of hope — even in a pandemic.