About that Word “Door” in “Door to a Lasting Marriage”
Why the word “Door” in the title of our book? Because “door” isn’t exactly an exciting word. “Dead as a doornail” is a saying that attempts to depict a lifeless image — an old adage about a ten-penny nail hopelessly lodged in a bulky wooden door. I was jealous of the title Hot Monogamy — a book about marriage written while we were writing ours — not because of the material the title seemed to promise. (It couldn’t be hotter than ours — no way!) Rather, it was the title’s cleverness. And there’s the book Vertical Marriage — another clever title — that came out about the time ours did. It’s a book on how marriage and God hook up together in a practical way. That’s our book too — all the way through, though our title doesn’t say it and some headings may betray it. However, thinking back we wouldn’t change a thing about our title. “Door” was a given from the get-go. This page is about why “Door” is an endearing word to us. We hope it may become so for you too as you read on.
What Our Word “Door” Does Not Mean
Not long after we were married and around the time I was being ordained as a Presbyterian minister on the east coast, two young men on the west coast were having a conversation that would have a bearing on the first 30 years of my career as a pastor — years I worked directly or indirectly with young people: “Ray said to Jim, ‘This is going to be psychedelic. But there’s only one problem: What do we call it?’ And [Jim] goes, ‘I already got the name, man. The Doors.’ I said, ‘The Doors? That’s redicu…. Oh, like the doors of your mind?’ And he said, ‘Exactly. Open the doors of perception.’ I said, ‘That’s it, man. That’s it.’” (Centennial Media LLC – Music Spotlight Collectors Edition p.15). Jim’s full name was Jim Morrison. To quote Wikipedia: Due to his wild personality, poetic lyrics, distinctive voice, unpredictable and erratic performances… Morrison is regarded by music critics and fans as one of the most iconic and influential frontmen in rock history. “Ray” was one of the four who made up their rock band, The Doors. The word “perception” came from Morrison’s reading of Aldous Huxley’s book The Doors of Perception — unlocking doors of the mind through psychedelic drug use. The Doors invited the world to join them in doing likewise.
Our Doors — Real, not Fantasy
When we said the words “I do” we were clueless about marriage. But God has been faithful from the very beginning. Mimi puts it this way: “Every time our marriage has faced a wall God has led us to a door, a passageway through that wall. Our book is about sharing those doors.” Marriage is a huge adventure, so I like to think of doors not just in terms of getting out of a fix but of getting into the mix — not the fantasy world of the freewheeling make-it-up-as-you-go-1960’s-world-of-rock. (Handfasting — a handshake ceremony — constituted Jim Morrison’s marriage.) — but the fascinating Divine design of marriage. Our book attempts to open that door too. In fact, it all started for us at a door. A real door. A real big door!
The Big Bulky Wooden Door — Locked!
On Christmas Eve,1957, Mimi and I, just home from college for the holidays, were out on the town when I told her I had in my pocket a shiny, sparkly Christmas gift I wanted to give her. Though the sentiment didn’t surprise her — I had all but popped the question a number of times — the moment did. It was a very special moment for both of us, so we both instinctively wanted to share it with our Maker who was clearly also our Matchmaker. The nearest church was Trinity Methodist. It was late and cold. It would be perfect to go sit in a pew, put the ring on Mimi’s finger while thanking God together and — the biggie! — asking him to lead us in his path in the days ahead. The door was locked! We did all the above standing in the alcove with cold exteriors but warm hearts. (The photo of us at that door 50 years later is the thumbnail image of this blog.)
Doors Unlocked!
In the beginning, blank walls and locked doors nearly wrecked our marriage but God has answered our prayer sung at our wedding, Savior Liked a Shepherd Lead Us; Much We Need Thy Tender Care. Our book is the sharing of our story and of God’s faithfulness. Our logo is an open door to the ongoing understanding of marriage and an invitation for husband and wife to join us on that path as we journey together. There’s only one other door that’s greater than the door to marriage. In the image seen here it’s the door above our famous big bulky door. It’s the image of Jesus Christ standing at that locked door — the door of our heart. Before we ever met, Mimi and I had each unlocked that door inviting Jesus in. As the Bible says, everything became new and it was through our “new eyes” we found each other. When we met I was cool on the outside but I have to admit deep in my heart were words similar to The Doors greatest hit, “Light My Fire!”
