The Family and Social Media
(with Guest Blogger)
Putting it in my own everyday language, the description of a famous orator’s secret was: Engage your audience, then take them with you. My blogs aren’t speeches, but I try anyway to do that with them. For this one I can’t even try. It’s a needed topic but out of my scope. I’m over-the-hill; an octogenarian to be more exact. And a dimwit when it comes to social media. Mimi’s much more adept than I, but we feel for this one we need an expert — our son, Mark. What makes Mark and his wife, Lynn, experts is not that he’s an MD and she’s an RN. It’s that they have four kids — two who are still teens and two just beyond. Mark won’t be giving the last word on this topic. Who’s up to that?! But here are his thoughts. (Mark’s family pic is below.)
“iGen”
Don’t feel bad if he doesn’t answer your call on his cell phone and don’t take it personally if she glances down with thumbs dancing across her phone screen during your face-to-face conversation. I’m speaking of children of Generation Z . Born between 1997-2012, kids of “iGen” were raised on the internet and social media and comprise 27% of the US population. They’ll be the parents and leaders of our future but as with every generation they’ve been shaped and molded by forces that their own parents don’t understand. My wife and I are the parents of four “iGen” children. An oldest boy followed by three girls and each is absolutely entrenched in the digital world. Like all parents, from all generations, we have made some good and made some bad parenting decisions. However, the guiding principle here is not the “Generation” but rather the “Heart”. Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it (Proverbs 4:23).
Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, and Tik-Tok — Part of the “iGen” Vernacular
These are not just phone apps that my kids open but are an integral part of their culture. I’ve learned that the time they spend engaged in social media is no different than the “quality” time we spent in the High School parking lot hanging out before or after school; or maybe the long hours talking on a corded home phone stretched under a closed bedroom door. No doubt that a lot of that time today is “mindless chatter” and we were guilty of the same at their ages.
Not All Kid’s Activities Require Monitoring Just Because We Can
Adolescence and the teen years are filled with bad decisions. We know that from our own past and that is precisely what terrifies us about our children’s future. Let’s admit that. Parenting is about influencing your child’s heart to make the right decision, especially when it matters the most. In other words, even the “best” kids will not walk the line all day every day and we are foolish to think so. They are sinners like their parents. In God’s grace we are preparing them to “guard” their hearts as “everything” they do flows from it. And what we are praying for our children is that what flows is “goodness”. Specifically, to love those people around them as Christ has loved us. But back to social media.
There are Indeed Pitfalls to Navigate
Parents can’t halt the journey of life their children began at birth; nor should we try. We are called to equip our children for the journey. While in adolescence this means firm guidance and a loving support system. Talk out loud with your kids about the harmful effects of social media and when they experience these personally, and trust me that they will, be there to love them unconditionally through the emotional trauma.
It may still happen today, but it is less likely that a teenager will call someone “ugly” to his or her face. Instead it happens through innuendo on social media platforms and the pain felt is no less real. Use the experience to teach your child that their worth is found only in our Creator; that our hearts are no different today than those of our first parents, Adam & Eve; and that because of sin we are wired to wander away from God, rather than towards Him. Social media will amplify the condition of your child’s heart for others to see, and at the same time leave it vulnerable to injury. So, teach your child to “guard” it.
Unlike my Kids, If You Call Me I’ll Probably “Pick Up”
Indeed, we are from different generations with different cultural norms but we do share the same “heart” condition. Therefore, every day we all (parents and children) must intentionally reignite our hearts to love the LORD our God with all our heart, all our soul, all our mind, and all of our strength!
