Mimi–Mom or Mogul?
King, Queen, VIP, fat cat, top dog, kahuna. In short, an important and powerful person. All the afore mentioned words define the term mogul. The word mom? Not so much. In fact, mom doesn’t even rate a definition in my dictionary. Mom is totally ignored. However, if you look with earnest you’ll find the word mom mentioned under mother as an informal North American term for a female parent. But ignored would well fit Mimi’s feelings one day many years ago as she sat in Holiday Park in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, keeping three little children (each under five) controlled, entertained, safe, nose-wiped, and dry-diapered. Her thoughts those moments? “What a thankless job this is. I can’t wait to get on with my life!”
A Decisive Moment
Mimi said later, “I remember the day my whole perspective changed — the day God showed me how important those children were going to be” (from Door to a Lasting Marriage). Mimi was at a career crossroads. Should she pursue a life of attainment and position — being equipped for it through education and aptitude, later managing three PNC banks while winning top performance awards along the way thus making my term mogul entirely feasible — or should she just focus on being a mom? Some women might be able to successfully juggle both simultaneously. Mimi (though profoundly multi-tasked) is not one of ‘em. When Mimi’s focus is fixed she’s all in wherever that focus is. Here’s her story in her own words.
What Made that Magic Moment Happen?
It all changed when I started looking for answers to questions I never had asked before. In the Bible I read where Paul told Titus, his spiritual son, to teach the older women [to] encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children (Titus 2:3-4). So, I sought out older women with my many questions about raising a family. I remember going around trying to find out what you do with children for them to “turn out.” I asked many people — those whose children seemed to be in that “turn out” category — but they could not tell me. Then, one day I read in a book from the mother of a missionary, You need to become the person you want your children to be because they will become just like you. Children read your heart, not your philosophy or your theology (as good as that might be). Children know what’s in your heart. To be a mentor-mom for your children you have to be there. So in addition to working on my own baggage (that’s another story) the focus of my working life in those years became a no brainer. I helped put food on the table with a tutoring job during hours our kids were in school, but my career focus those years was my children. Here are some focal points in that endeavor.
A. Self-esteem
A wise woman builds her house. A foolish woman plucks it down with her own hands. Own words is also implied in that quote from Proverbs 14:1. Self-esteem is probably the biggest thing you can give your children. Good self-esteem, which could empty out drug houses, can be built with words. Learn to build with your words, not tear down. Try to say something positive to your child each day.
B. Be there to “Help” Your Child
Counselor and psychologist, Dr. Henry Brandt, taught us to make sure your children do what you ask them to do. It’s called discipline. To make it happen you may have to take his or her little hand in yours and make it do what you’ve asked its owner to do. At times the owner will need “help.” So, you need to be there.
C. Honesty, a Top Core Value
Not telling lies and telling the truth have always been important in our family. When our children lied or spoke bad language, I did as my mother had done to me. The children got their mouths washed out with soap. One time our child said, “But mom, the word is still there!” She missed the symbolism but she got the message. The point is, whenever dishonesty was detected it wasn’t tolerated for a moment.
D. Mom as Coach and Teacher
I think it’s our job as parents to help our children identify the natural gifts God gave each of them and to help them learn how to make use of those gifts in our world. This should begin when they are very young. And remember these are gifts God has given them, not necessarily the ones we want them to have. Most importantly, make sure you explain to each child how he or she can become a Christian. There may be rededication times later, but little children can understand the gospel. Do not neglect that privilege. Two of our children opened their lives to Christ between the ages of three and five. Children need to learn their parents are temporary in their lives. God is forever. They are responsible to Him, not just to you. Btw, all of our kids “turned out,” and all three love God. God be thanked and to Him be the glory!
