Bored? or BORED?: Suggested Help for Both
Living with Mimi is never boring. And although I remind her that my name, Sim, stands for Stick in the Mud she says I am, to her, also not boring. I don’t think she’s dishonest but I have a hard time believing she’s serious. Anyway, I’m leaving well enough alone. After all, I have done so for over 60 years. If you’ve read any of our stuff you’ll know where this conversation comes from, i.e. we marry an opposite personality (in the main) — one we’ll never understand. And that, plus the huge differences in female and male genders, makes marriage exciting. (Either exciting or exiting!) Our marriage stays relatively exciting but sometimes life itself isn’t — like during a locked-down-locked-in-dragged-out pandemic. Bored is the word.
Its definition and synonyms are downers: Tedious, lack of interest, dull, bland, banal, mindless, vapid, laborious, mundane, insipid, lackluster. I’ll stop with endless, but the list is endless and, yes, boring. Billie Eilish — still a teenager but winner in January of the top four 2020 Grammy awards — has a hit song, Bored. On YouTube, the song has nearly two million views. And I’ve found a dozen songs by popular artists with some form of bore in their title. People identify and not just teenagers. Dudley comes to mind.
Dudley settled into a chair in my office and, after sharing his agonizing problem, seemed relieved as if he had said to himself, Now my problem is in the hands of an expert. I was totally unprepared. (Blindsided might be a better word.) His problem? Two words — I’m bored. I was incredulous. Why had he come to me? Why not consult his wife? No one was less bored than she. Or his golfing buddies? They were influential and resourceful people. Or certainly those he met while flying all over the country concerning the lucrative business he owned. Why not consult them? Or a psychiatrist? He could have consulted with any doctor anywhere. Why me? Then it hit me. I was his pastor. I represented his Maker. This was as close as he felt he could get to consulting God. I was on the spot. As I sent up a quick Help, Lord the answer to Dudley’s demon came to me immediately. I’m sure I botched communicating what I keenly felt down deep. But what I fumbled around trying to say then, I hope gets said here now.
Dead End and The Way Out
Boredom is not depression but it’s kin to it and can lead to it. One thing about depression that’s also true of boredom is being fooled as to the way out. An internet article offers 97 ways out. Things like; Get a hobby, take a trip, read a book, mow the grass, go shopping, hit the gym, etc., etc. Well-meaning advice but it’s almost surely a dead end. Anything done for the express purpose of freeing one from depression (and boredom) simply reminds one of the state they are in. They ask themselves, Why am I doing this? Their answer — Because I’m miserable — simply doubles the misery. And it can also add to a sense of hopelessness as one finds that even the “medicine” doesn’t work. Suggestion: Do the next thing that needs to be done. Act. Forget about being happy. Take the next step. Make a move. If you only do what you want to do, you’ll probably do nothing. Do what needs to be done. If the grass needs mowing, mow it. If your gym day is Tuesday and it’s Tuesday, go. If it’s morning and you’re lying in the bed looking at the ceiling, get up and get dressed. If it’s dinner time, eat. If your brother is stranded without a ride, go get him.
Two Kinds of “Bored”
Everyone gets bored. The degree depends upon our personality and, obviously, other factors. Seems I read that some astronauts were bored while circling the moon! Being bored amidst excitement is like being lonely in a crowd. And that brings up BORED in capital letters, the kind that goes deeper than the soul — all the way to the spirit. Mimi, early on, was BORED like that. She felt like a boat adrift without a rudder — unmoored, no destination, no purpose, not even a clue as to why she even was. She was not depressed. She was, for lack of a better word, BORED. At a camp the speakers talked about God being our maker with a plan for our lives. In Mimi’s own words from our book: I had asked God many months before, that if he existed please show me… I did not believe in a personal God… I always thought Christ was the “Great Example.” I tried to be like him and always failed. People at the camp said, “If you ask him he will come into your life and change you from the inside out”… I didn’t believe it would work. One day I sat on a rock… and asked Christ that if he was there, to come into my life. He did. My life has never been the same since that day. You might be saying, “You were 15. This cannot happen to me at 25 or 45.” It can. Try it. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose! I might add that Mimi still gets bored, but no longer BORED.
