DANGER
DANGER
The administrative staff at their desks just outside my door were frightened by the shrieks within. What could possibly be going on in there!? Maybe we should go to the rescue? No exaggeration. In fact, it’s understated. The shouting occurred just a few minutes after they had ushered Louanne (I’ll call her) into my office. What was going on was a woman “screaming” to me the story of her ex-husband — this howling act repeated itself every subsequent time she met with me trying to get over a man she divorced many months before. She was unable to say anything about him without maxing the decibels. She was a very angry woman, but otherwise a woman of faith, integrity, and uncommon intelligence. She had married a fraud. Her anger, if not well-manifested, was well-founded. He was a first-class scoundrel — a fact known only by her.
Paul Tournier, the famed psychiatrist, tells of an anemic young woman his physician friend was treating. After exhausting all his resources over months of therapy with no success, he sent her to a specialist. A week later the confused specialist sent word back that her blood samples were entirely normal. Her doctor asked, “Has anything out of the ordinary happened in your life since our last visit?” “[Yes], I have suddenly been able to forgive someone against whom I bore a nasty grudge, and… I was able to say ‘YES’ to life!”
Though anger can be noisy or silent it is powerful, destructive, and dangerous. It Sometimes has outward symptoms and sometimes has symptoms not even perceived by the one afflicted — repressed because the mind doesn’t want us to express [our emotions], nor does it want them to be seen by the outside world. Instead, we may experience a [socially acceptable] physical symptom (John E. Sarno, M.D., NYU School of Medicine). The current national display of anger and hate drives me to say more than in my April 21 Blog.
Anger is Indispensable
God gets angry. Made in his image we each are capable of anger. Ridding the world of all anger would be tragic. Gone would be the backbone of the bravery, character, and grit that holds back evil. Orge — called the strongest of all passions — is the Greek word for “anger.” The Hebrew word haron means “fierce anger.” It’s God’s anger, and occurs 41 times in Scripture. That’s righteous anger but all anger is not good.
Anger After Sunset
Bad anger: One day last week when the car behind me sounded its horn, there arose in me a deep resentment. I’ll show that guy who’s slow! Another inner-voice interrupted. Cool it, Sim! So I didn’t do my little car maneuver I did one time when the person turned out not to be a guy, but a fine woman whom I would see ten minutes later at a church small-group. Scripture says to Be angry, but immediately follows with, however, stop before it gets out of hand (free translation). The Scripture continues: Before the sun sets get rid of all bitterness, anger, rage, brawling, slander, [and] all malice (Eph.4:26,31). These words are not just synonyms. They describe a downward spiral. A careful Greek word-study reveals (1) bitterness - deep hatred, (2) anger - smoldering hatred, (3) rage - surging anger, (4) brawling - angry outcry, (5) slander - hurting others, (6) malice - vicious action. It’s like a bird egg: Sit on it, warm it, hatch it, then display it.
Anger’s Bucket List
There’s an invisible bucket in the gut of each of us — undetectable by x-ray. It collects all wrongs done to us, and all our resentments. There is no outlet. Left alone its contents grow from #1 to #6 as above. Held in is repression. Overflow rots the soul. How to lower the level? Not by screaming. Not by prayer. Not by time. Not by therapy. Not by verbal review. Not by meditation. Not by medication. ONLY BY FORGIVING!
The Forgiver’s List (Where you are and where you can be.)
Your grudge person controls you: You’re obligated to check his/her schedule before you can make yours.
You are becoming like the person you hate: Your constant fixation upon them fills you with their persona.
Others can’t make you angry: But they can zip you open so that your “bucket” reeks (unless it’s empty).
Don’t go back to your offender: Ninety-nine percent will feel they have done nothing wrong to you.
Let go!: The N.T. Greek for forgive is aphiemi — the combo of two words “send from” = “let go!”
Let go and assign all retribution to God: Do not repay…. I will repay says the Lord (Rom. 12:17-19)
When we forgive: We do it alone, silently, invisibly, voluntarily, healing hurt we never deserved. (Smedes)
Forgiving is not forgetting: After a big bell rings, little ding-dongs persist. Ignore them. (Corrie ten Boom)
Louanne was away for months teaching school in Taiwan. She couldn’t wait to find me upon her return. “I forgave him! I forgave him!,” she screamed through her big smile. “It tries to come back but I won’t let it!”